BLACK gurl born to NIGERIAN parents living in a WHITE neighborhood that speaks SPANISH and loves CHINESE food :)
Mixed Chick :)

Source: always-100

New years?!

  • So i get in the car with my mom yesterday *day after New Years* nd we got into one of our tipical random naija parents to child arguments (ill post a sample in another post). mind u my voice stayed at one level and i jst asked a question after she spoke. Heres wat came out of me not eating RICE AND CHICKEN 4 breakfast before my dentist appointment…
  • Mom: Why did you not eat?
  • Me: Cuz the rice wasnt ready yet.
  • Mom: Ehhh, but you had time to warm meatpie?!
  • Me: It only took me a sec.
  • Mom: But I told you to put that rice in tha cooka since!
  • Me: You told me at 12:28 and I did right away.
  • [we were spose 2 leave at 12.30 2 get there at 1.00.. but u kno african time]
  • Mom: Is a lie! I told you at 11.30 when I woke you up. *yells
  • [after about 10 mins of this back and forth randomness she goes on to say…]
  • Mom: This is 2012! I will not tolerate this nonsense from you dis new year ooooo! You will learn that I AM YO MOTHA dis time*slap*….
  • ^^ from not eating RICE AND CHICKEN FOR BREAKFAST!!!!! really??

Source: naijaprobs

lemme jst find one nigerian dat can tell their parents that theyre gay.. witout a SLAP!

Source: naijaprobs

i remember this dude saying that his parents bought him his christmas clothes in march three sizes bigger … but by the time christmas came he said *nigerian accent* “my pants na dey hit knee.. instead of school pant i dey rock high-wata short”
Pop-upView Separately

i remember this dude saying that his parents bought him his christmas clothes in march three sizes bigger … but by the time christmas came he said

*nigerian accent*

“my pants na dey hit knee.. instead of school pant i dey rock high-wata short”

(via fuckyesnigerians)

Source: naijaprobs

too funny.. it jst speaks 4 itself. toy helicopter really?!? lmnbo!!! <—laughin my nigerian bumbum off (yes its original i kno!)

Source: naijaprobs

Typical message from creepy African man who is twice your age: “Eh baby I just saw your picture and you ah just too gbaski. I want to get to know you. I have never seen a girl wit az much bueaty az you. Call me on my numba +13482037347230 so dat we can chat layta.” *The next day when you dont reply* “Baby I’ve falling in love with your picture and I really want to talk to you. Here’s my numba again +13482037347230. Shoot me a SMS *Following day* “It pains me that you’re not online. i really want to get to know you, you look like sweet orange. Plz talk to me.” *Day 3* “Wetin be your Pincode oh?… I need the keys to your heart…” *Day 4* “FRIENDSHIP” is a sim,which has no activation charges.Free incoming and outgoing with roaming all over the world and it’s validity “NEVER ENDs” *Day 5* “Baby, why arent you responding?”
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Typical message from creepy African man who is twice your age:

“Eh baby I just saw your picture and you ah just too gbaski. I want to get to know you. I have never seen a girl wit az much bueaty az you. Call me on my numba +13482037347230 so dat we can chat layta.”

*The next day when you dont reply*

“Baby I’ve falling in love with your picture and I really want to talk to you. Here’s my numba again +13482037347230. Shoot me a SMS

*Following day*

“It pains me that you’re not online. i really want to get to know you, you look like sweet orange. Plz talk to me.”

*Day 3*

“Wetin be your Pincode oh?… I need the keys to your heart…”

*Day 4*

“FRIENDSHIP” is a sim,which has no activation charges.Free incoming and outgoing with roaming all over the world and it’s validity “NEVER ENDs”

*Day 5*

“Baby, why arent you responding?”

(via dudeitsgrace)

Source: thatnigeriankid

fuckyesnigerians:

Sh*t Nigerian Mothers Say

By far the funniest and most accurate one :)

Submitted by:naturallysundie.tumblr.com

Source: fuckyesnigerians

Read this website if you are truly a Naija !!

Voicemail NOT Answering Machine

OMG i hate it wen i see 50 missed calls from my parent and like 40 voicemails…

Wen i go to listen to them tho this is wat i get ….

“Hello?! ChiChi. CHICHI!! Are yu there? Oga pick up rite now. Can yu not hear me? If yu hear, ansa dis phone!”

This is not a house phone wit an answering machine. How many times must i explain to them that i cannot hear them on my VOICEMAIL!

Source: naijaprobs

The Stench… CHEI

  1. wen u walk past a person in the store, can smell the crayfish or achi soup on them and automatically know they are african.
  2. wen ur a a nigerian party and hav to sit next to someone who just danced lik there was no tomorrow, and u cover ur nose.
  3. wen u hug one of those aunties and uncles who just naturally smells of bitta leaf and musk combined and u smell ur shoulder to see if it rubbed off on u
  4. wen ur sitting behind those dirty naijas who keep their weaves and braids in for like a year and all u wanna do is shout “Beco, at least wash ya head!!”

Source: naijaprobs